


Undisclosed Desires

by angrygermanchild



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha Eren Yeager, Alpha Erwin Smith, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Boys' Love, Character Death, Death, Dreams and Nightmares, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, High School, Kissing, Lemon, M/M, Multi, Neck Kissing, Omega Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Omega Verse, Oral Sex, Panic, Reincarnation, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Smut, Top Eren Yeager, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-06-20 22:54:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15543957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angrygermanchild/pseuds/angrygermanchild
Summary: Waking up from Nightmares drenched in sweat and with tears in his eyes, was something Levi had to deal with almost his whole life. Dreams which are filled with memories of another time, another life. He knew from the first night it happened that he couldn't be the only one to have those dreams and he slowly realized that he was right. There were others having dreams about the same fucked up world he had lived in in his past life. But quickly he realized that not everyone he knew from his past was able to remember those times. His whole world breaks apart when he realizes the person who meant so much to him although he had never met him himself has no memories of his tragic past.





	1. cold and loveless world

**Author's Note:**

> Oh hey! I'm not dead lol  
> I really missed writing so here i am back again Yay (also going to try to continue writing my ffs I stopped updating).  
> Please keep in mind that I'm trying my best, I'm mainly translating from german so I'm sorry if there are grammar mistakes.  
>  **! This is mainly Eren x Levi, even though there are probably going to be some side couples, on wich I'm not going to Focus a lot. I'm obsessed with reincarnation and omegaverse fanfictons so I thought why not combine both and see how it works? Anyways I hope you like this, I'd love to hear your opinions on it.**

Desperately I held what was left of my sword in a tight grip. The blade was already broken, so there was almost nothing left of it. I didn't know what to do next. For the first time in what felt like forever I had no idea how to handle a situation. The screams around me were so loud, I just wanted to cover my ears and close my eyes so I didn't have to witness everything happening around me. The worst thing about evrything was, I was frozen in place unable to move, still looking down to the ground covered in blood and lifeless bodies of people who were once my teammates. Looking at my Hands I only saw red. Blood dripping down from my face to the palms of my hand until there was no skin visible anymore.

"Focus Levi Focus" I was telling myself over and over. Now was not the time to lose myself in thoughts. Actions were necessary now. I had to save my team... or at least what was left of it. So within the next few seconds my legs were moving on their own and I was stumbling towards a Titan attacking people on horses. I didn't make it that far though. The Pain in my legs made me stumble to the ground, to my hands and knees. I didn't know I had been wounded this badly. I hadn't even felt the pain a few minutes ago. But looking at my legs now I knew I was fucked. The blood on me was definitely mine. Not the blood of a fallen soldier or the one of a deceased teammember. It was my own blood spilling out of wounds so deep that just looking down at myself made me shiver with Panic.

"Captain!"

"Levi! Can you hear me? Where are you?"

The voice calling my name sounded desperate and helpless. Pleading for me to turn my attention towards them. I suddenly knew who's voice it was. The person I prayed not to be here on this field, which was slowly turning into a graveyard. It was Erens voice. He had followed the smoke signals and screams with the rest of the team who was supposed to stay at our base outside the walls.  
'Eren' I tried calling out to him, while he kept calling my name, but my voice was so hoarse that I was way to quiet for him to hear me and before I was able to say anything more I felt my vision become blurry and I coughed up blood. So much i wasn't able to catch my breath again. My throat felt like it was burning and when it stopped I gasped for air and my vision clouded with tears.  
Eren finally noticed me between all the dead bodies, being just as bloody as they were and probably already looking like a corpse. He quickly sprinted towards me. I wanted to stand up and push him away. I wanted to yell at him to fucking get out of here. He wasn't supposed to be here. I wasn't supposed to get hurt during this Mission.

"Fuck Levi" he pulled me into a tight hug and brushed some of the bloody strands of hair out of my face, looking deep into my eyes.

"E-Eren..." I started coughing again.

"No no don't talk, I'm going to get you out of here. It's going to be okay... you're going to be okay." He said looking around, his eyes searching and trying to find a way out of this mess.  
I could hear his heart beating while I was leaning into his chest. It always made me feel save. Even now being in this situation it made me calm down and brought me back into the right headspeace. I wasn't stupid, I knew everyone here was already dead. There was nothing left to save from the Titans. Not even me. I wouldn't make it. I had lost so much blood. I would die right here. Today.  
"Leave" I said quietly. Eren just looked at me like I had just said the most stupid thing he ever heard. His confused face would have made me chuckle if we weren't in this situation right now. I would have pinched his cheeks and laughed at his cute face, but remembering the past and everything that happened before this horror started made everything even more serious for me. He had to survive. He had to get out of here. Taking me with him would be a burden which he wouldn't survive. I took a deep breath and pushed him away from me.

"Fucking leave, take the rest of the team and leave. You can't take me with you Eren." I explained almost screaming with a shaky voice.His eyebrows furrowed and he opened his mouth to protest, but closed it instantly again when he heard a loud scream. Turning towards the sound his eyes widened.

"Armin!" He saw his best friend being nearly crushed by a Titan who was now holding him in it's palms, ready to kill him instantly.  
"Stay here and don't move." He said in a serious tone now. "I'm getting the others and then we'll leave. Together."  
I saw him flying towards the big Titan without any hesitation. My eyes widened and my breath turned into a shaky mess. One wrong move and it could be his last. I pleaded that he would make it. And he actually managed to free Armin from the Titans grip by distracting it. He threw his blade into the eye of the Titan and went straight for his neck, but a second before he was able to slice his neck the Titan reached behind itself and got a grip of Eren who lost his sword during the proses.

My breathing stopped and I froze. "No this couldn't be happening." I thought to myself.

Eren did the only thing he could think about in this situation. He bit his hand and I expected him to turn into a Titan instantly, but nothing happened. I couldn't belive my eyes. This was not happening. Why didn't it work? What was wrong. Eren still tried biting his hand desperately, still with nothing happening.

Before I even realized what I was doing I pushed myself up, still shaking. But I didn't care. I didn't care about the pain. I didn't care about my legs feeling like I was walking on fire. I prayed that there was still some gas left in my tank and it actually wasn't empty. I flew towards the Titan who was instantly distracted by me stabbing it with what I had left of my blade. Furios I hoped it would let go and it worked. It grabbed me by the waist instead, crushing my body and making me scream in pain. I couldn't feel my legs anymore. Not even a tiny bit. I couldn't move them at all.  
Eren quickly pulled out a different blade and went for the Titans neck, slicing it nicely. Proudly I smiled at him. He had learned so much, had become so strong. And especially I had thought him this.  
His eyes filled with horror when he saw the titan falling to the ground with me still held tightly in his palm. I would have used my 3dmg to get away, but I couldn't. I couldn't move. I felt my back hitting the ground with a hard and loud thud. The only thing I could hear was a loud ringing noise making my head hurt.

But aside that the pain was gone. Nothing hurt anymore. Probably because I wasn't feeling anything anymore. The ringing turned into muffled calls. I could hear Eren screaming my Name and suddenly he was right beside me. I looked at him tired, my eyes felt heavy. I just wanted to close them and fall asleep. But this wouldn't be sleep. I was going to die. I felt even my breathing become harder and staying awake got more and more difficult. But at least I was looking into the most beautiful eyes while I was dying. I wanted nothing more than to wipe away his tears and ruffle though his hair, but I couldn't get my arm up, not even a millimeter. Eren griped my hand and squeezed it tightly connecting our fingers together and bringing my hand up to his face so he could kiss the back of my hand, while his tears fell onto my cheeks.

"I'm going to find you again' He said in a shaky voice. 'If we both really are reborn in a different life I'll find you. I promise Levi."


	2. my world without you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back with a new chapter. I sadly wasn't able to upload it earlier, because of my surgery a few days ago (nothing serious haha). But here you go, I hope you like it. Also thanks to everyone who gave me some feedback for the first chapter I really appreciate it.

"Eren!" I screamed out of the top of my lungs looking into complete darkness. It took me a minute to realize it was just a dream. The same damn dream that wakes me every fucking night.

I thought I would get used to it from time to time, but how do you get used to dying? How do you get used to seeing your loved one being ripped away from your life? Just to wake up and realize it was just a dream and that he isn't there anymore. That his soft and loving touch was just your pure imagination?

I sometimes thought I was going insane. I had times in which I wouldn't even sleep anymore, to tired from all the pain my dreams were filled with. Because after all, sleep was supposed to calm you down and make you relax from a busy day. It was supposed to make me regain my energy, but with my way of sleeping it was clearly the opposite.

But with me being a human being and also a student not going to sleep wasn't an option. Even though it was driving me insane I needed at least a few hours of sleep to not look completely like a walking corpse.

I leaned towards my drawer right beside my bed and turned the lights on. Looking at my hands I cringed. Not only my hands were drenched in sweat, but my whole pyjama was literally glued onto me because of the amount of body fluids. Disgusted with myself I got up, wiping of the sweat on my pants and looking at the clock on my phone. It was five in the morning, which meant I had to get up in half an hour anyway, so I had enough time for a long and relaxing shower, before heading to school.

Still tired I rubbed my eyes and made my way towards my small bathroom, while getting rid of my pyjama. Once I turned on the shower I visibly relaxed. I stood there for a few minutes doing absolutely nothing else than letting the cold water run down from my face and downwards my body. I closed my eyes exhaling, taking in a deep breath.

I was currently living in a student flat next to my school. I was glad to have an entire apartment for myself. If you could call it apartment that is. It was actually just a normal sized room with a really small kitchen and living room area. I even used my sofa as a bed because there was just not enough space. I also had a small bathroom, but it even if it was pretty tiny it was all I needed. Not to small and not to big. Just right for me. Good thing about living on your own, no one is going to hear your embarrassing screams during the nighttime. Which was something that was happening whenever I had the nightmare. It got lonely sometimes, but that was fine. Most of my free time I spend studying anyways. I wasn't like other students my age. Always on the way to the next house party. It just wasn't my thing.

I got out of my shower and started dressing myself. When I was ready I quickly trew my stuff into my backpack before heading out of my room. I was walking slow, but like every day I arrived way too early at school, so I got out my laptop and started to prepare everything for my following lessons. When I noticed more and more students entering the school I got up and made my way towards my classroom.

"Oh wow you definitely look like shit." Hange mentioned when she caught up to me in the hallway. She inspected me a little further before she continued. "Didn't get some rest during the nights?"

"Well first of all thanks for reminding me of my terrible appearance I didn't already knew about and I think my terrible eyebags can answer your question." I answered looking at her. She aswell looked a bit tired, but that wasn't anything new to me. Her oily hair was randomly tied into a messy ponytail. She pulled up her glasses a little, so they weren't sitting weirdly on the tip of her nose anymore and turned towards me, smiling a little.

"Well then would you mind telling me about what exciting things you did during the holidays?" Hange asked. I honestly didn't understand why she was even interested about my holiday activities, but I guess she was just feeling a little bit guilty, because she wasn't able to terrorize me with her cheerfullness like she normally did. During the holidays Hange had visited her family, while my holidays weren't anything special, like always.

"Oh you know. Drowning myself in self-pity, while trying to stay awake as long as possible until I thought the walls were talking to me. So just the usual stuff." I joked.

Her expression darkened. "Ow Levi why didn't you call me, I would have come back earlier and-"

"Calm down, you know I'm exaggerating and I wouldn't want you to cancel your holidays with your family just for an old fart like me."

"Oh come on stop talking like that already." She said laughing and poked me with her elbow. "See you after class, lets meet in the cafeteria." She said and walked away, so I didn't had a chance talking back to her. I signed. I hated that she cared so much about me. After all I wasn't that important and I actually felt like I was getting better. Especially during school time. Focusing on other stuff didn't leave enough time for my brain to think about my weird and messed up dreams. School was a good distraction and because of all the exhaustion I had during schooltime I fell asleep into a dreamless sleep most of the time. Wich was exactly what I wanted. But I knew that once school ended I would have to replace this exhaustion I was getting from all of this with a Job. Which would be soon. After all this was my last year.

When I arrived in my classroom Erwin was already seated in the chair next to mine waiting for my arrival. Erwin and Hange were the only people who knew about those dreams, which was because they also had memories from the past. Even though their dreams were completely different from mine. Of course they also had this kind of dream aswell. The dream in wich they had died in their previous life, but they were also able to remember other parts of their past life, while I hadn't had a different dream in a really long time.

"Hey Levi!" Erwin greeted me friendly, while I just nodded into his direction. "You're looking good today." He complimented me.

"Well I guess you're the only one then to actually think I look good. I was told I'm looking dead by someone else earlier this morning." I said, unpacking my stuff and taking the seat next to him.

"Who said something like that?" He said confused, but with an angry undertone, while his smell started getting a bit sour. I scrunched up my nose. He was acting possessive around me again, which I completely hated. Being an Omega never ment I was weak. I was able to deal with everything myself pretty well my whole life. People who didn't know me that well even sometimes assumed me being a Beta or even an Alpha because of my personality.

"My God it was just Hange, would you please calm down, before you chase out the whole class with your strong Alpha smell." I said disgusted, after which he seemed to calm down again. I rolled my eyes at him and waited for the class to start.

When it was time for lunch we started walking towards the cafeteria to meet up with Hange, who was already waiting for us.

"How was class?" She asked smiling towards us. "It was fine." I replyed bluntly, while taking small sips from my water bottle.

"Have you seen any of the new students jet?" She asked. I just gave her a confused look as answer. "Oh common Levi it's always exciting to see and meet new people each year." She laughed. I wasn't overly excited to meet any of the new brats. It wouldn't change a lot to meet more people and i wasn't the most social person anyways, so I didn't care about any of the new students. "I have this hot guy in my chemistry class. He moved here just a few days ago because of his parents. He was really nice to talk to." She continued happily. 

"Good for you." I replied to her uninterested, not paying a lot attention to her.

"Well..." She continued. "He actually invited me to welcome party at his parents house, because he just moved here and his parents aren't home this weekend. He also said I could bring some friends." She said smirking looking at me and Erwin pleading.

"There is no way I'm going to some weird party of a guy I don't even know." I said still uninterested in the whole situation.

"Oh come on Levi don't be such a dick. We'll have so much fun I promise you." She said pleading. I sighed. She knew I hated partys, but still she tried everything to get me out of my room by any chance that she got to do so. Me and my socially awkward personality wasn't something a party would need anyways. Parties were exhausting. I never understood why everyone was so hyped about them.

"Come on Levi she's right, I really think we should go." Erwin added. I gave him a confused look. I knew Erwin liked drinking alcohol, but he was normaly the one to avoid parties, because he hated to crowds and the amount of people. "After all it's our last year on this school, god knows what we will be doing after this. We should enjoy it."

"I'll think about it." I said annoyed. Hange squealed happily, as if I already confirmed that I was going. I sighed, rubbing my temples because of the headache they were giving me. But why was I actually complaining? They were just trying to get me out to meep new people when they got the chance, because they were probably thinking social activities would get me in a better mood and if I was really honest I actually appreciated their efforts. I saw that they cared for me, which meant a lot to me and that was probably why I was actually considering to go.

When we finished our lunch we decided to go outside again before our next class would start. I fetched my phone out of my pocket to take a look at my schedule so I would know in which room my next class would take place. I wasn't really looking at everything happening around me, because I was clearly too focused on my phone, paying no attention to everyone in front of me and before I knew it I collided with another student.

"Oh fuck I'm really sorry." The person in front of me apologized. I knew it was also my fault, because we both probably payed no attention to our surroundings, but I was still kinda annoyed. Without paying any attantion to the person in front of me I quickly grabbed my phone, so I could get up from the floor. I opened my mouth to bitch at the person who was clearly a new student, because they were just too friendly, like everyone would be on their first day on a new school. I opened my mouth to say something, but my words got stuck in my throat when I looked into the eyes of the person right in front of me. Those big ocean eyes I had missed so much and craved to see again were staring at me questioning.


	3. see you again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short, but I wanted to post an update. Because of school and work I don't have that much time at the moment, so I apologize for not updating this earlier. Oh and I'm going to Shanghai in like ten days so I don't know if i'll upload a new chapter before that, but will defenitely try to write during the flight and upload it when I'm back.
> 
> Still hope you like it, let me hear your opinions on it :)

It felt like time suddenly stand still. I wasn't able to move at all. I was completely frozen, looking into those deep blue eyes I had prayed to see again so many times. His dark brown hair was slightly falling into his eyes and his beautiful tan skin was even more perfect than I imagined it would look. I wanted nothing more than to clasp him in my arms, so I could see if he was even real, because maybe this was also just my imagination playing tricks to my my tired mind and any second he would just pop like a bubble and disappear. But I didn't make one move towards him. Because he just looked at me with pure confusion. There was no relief or happiness filling his beautiful eyes. 

"Are you okay?" He asked holding his hand out towards me to help me get up from the floor. Still confused I took his hand and got pulled up from the ground. I suddenly was hit by a beautiful smell. One which smelled so familiar and still so alien to me, like I just forgot the way it made me feel and was finally able to smell it again. I never smelled anything compared to this. This sweet vanilla smell wrapped around me intoxicating and I just wanted to bury myself in his neck where it would be the strongest and inhale it deeply.

"I'm really sorry, this is my first day on this school and I'm already making a terrible first impression." He laughed embarrassed.  
"Oh I'm Eren by the way." He said smiling, scratching his neck nervously.

"Levi." I just answered bluntly, still completely confused about the whole situation. Was this even real? Was Eren really here in front of me or was my tired mind now completely driving me insane. Maybe dreaming about him every night wasn't enough anymore? Was I also daydreaming now?

"Levi." He repeated. And I could have sworn, I never heard anyone else say my name like this. The way he pronounced every letter made it the most beautiful word I had ever heard and looking at his lips while he was talking made me forget about my surroundings completely.

"Eren why are you taking so long? Class is starting in five minutes and I don't wanna be late." A annoyed female voice disturbed my thoughts and I saw Eren looking into the direction the voice came from. When I also turned towards the girl who had approached us I realized why her voice was also pretty familiar to me. Just like Eren I would have always recognized her.  
Just a few steps away from Eren and me stood Mikasa leaning against a door frame, inspecting my body from top to bottom. Her black and shining hair was slightly longer than it was back then, but it still looked good on her, she still looked like Mikasa. She wore a white blouse with a black skirt and even though it wasn't very cold during this time of the year, a red scarf was messily wrapped around her neck.  
Next to her a smaller boy appeared. He was wearing black glasses, which defined his large hazel eyes. He had a round face with blond hair that was cut in the style of a bob. In his arms he was holding a large folder and some thin books. But even though he was wearing glasses now I still recognized Armin.  
Even though my dreams had always been very limited I also had some different nights. Nights with happy dreams... At least I had those back when I was younger. My dreams hadn't always been that bad. That was the reason why I was remembering those two. But did they remember me? I wasn't sure. If they really knew me they would have probably reacted differently, so they probably had no memorys aswell.

Mikasa scrunched up her eyebrows, while giving me a annoyed look, while I just looked at her puzzled.  
"I have to go, see you Levi." Eren said smiling in my direction before turning towards his friends and walking out of my sight. 

Totally confused and overwhelmed with the whole situation I just stared at the now empty hallway, as if I was waiting for him to come back. I wanted him to tell me that he of course remembered me and that he didn't forget me, but he did. Eren did forget me. It wasn't his fault or anything like that. Of course it wasn't, I couldn't blame him for this, but still I was angry, confused and disappointed. I didn't even know at who I was angry, if I wasn't this weird to begin with nothing about this situation would be so unbearable. If it wasn't for all those memories stuck in my head it would be completely normal. After all, I only ran into this boy and he introduced himself to me politely, nothing weird about this, right?  
I had always hoped to see Eren again. I had always prayed to meet him in this life. I always told myself that I would finally feel complete when I would look into his beautiful eyes again. But I never imagined our reunion to be like this. Not even a second I would have considered that he isn't able to remember me. After all it was Eren. How could he forget me? How could he forget us?  
I made my way towards the exit. After all class had already started and I wasn't in the mood to explain the reason for why I was too late to the teacher and aside from that I definitely needed some fresh air and a cigarette to calm me down from everything that just happened.  
Once outside I quickly lit up a cigarette and started walking towards the building my room was in. So many thoughts ran through my head. So many things I couldn't explain and i had no explanation for, made my head hurt by just thinking about it.  
Completely exhausted I fell face first onto my couch, without any intention of getting up soon. All of this shit had messed up my head so bad. Why couldn't I just have a normal life? Why was i the one to have those memories if Eren wasn't able to remember anything? What was the point? Why couldn't I just forget them aswell and live a life like everyone else, without this pain in my chest driving me insane.


End file.
